did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
