My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
