did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
