I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
