he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
