..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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