ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize