Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
