i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
of course. lets lasso hookers.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
