we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize