you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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