I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
