My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
