how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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