someone threw a dead crab at me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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