He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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