you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
