Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
