i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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