OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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