Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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