i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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