hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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