Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
and you fell through a lawn chair
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
