I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
