I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
