I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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