its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
