imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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