Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
