no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
