she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
