it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
