My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
