If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
