i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
