I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
