the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
