I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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