Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
