You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
