Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize