Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize