Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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