I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
