Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
