It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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