Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
