This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The Olympian is in my bed
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
