And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
