i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
