I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
