i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize