Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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