God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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