When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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