BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
