I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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