Dual....:-)
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
