I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
