You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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